New York Day 2 Ch.5

Half an hour later, my forearms were trembling, sweat inching its way across my dusty skin and the mosquitoes had come out of their siesta in earnest.

"Okay quick break."  I declared, dumping my side of the mattress.

Bernie, her body-covering uniform doing her absolutely no favours, put her side down, "You're a prat." she spat.

"I haven't forgotten…"  I said, regretting some choices I'd made.

We were lost.  Okay, not entirely lost.  We knew we were on the main road out of the manor.  But we had no idea where we were in relation to our increasingly mythical destination.

"Do you want to go back, find Eli and get him to guide us?"

"No…we can do it.  He said it's a long way out so clearly we just need to keep walking and then we'll find it."

"Or clearly we're going to be walking for another hour because you're refusing to listen to any sensible idea."

"If you don't like it then just give me the money back."

"Okay, sure.  Here you go, now enjoy dragging this around on your own."  She waved the note towards my face.

Bugger.  I sighed, swatted a whine from my ear and conceded, "Okay, I'll go get Eli."

I took off and an out-of-breath later I made my way to the fire pit.  Shadows were growing and the pace was picking up as some of the longer-preparation foods made their way onto a gentle, soulful flame.  Eli laughed as I approached and ate an unusually sized piece of humble pie in asking for his help.  We made our way back to Bernie only to come across an abandoned mattress and other items in the road.

We looked, shouted, peered around but nothing.

"It's hopeless lad, if she's too far then she won't hear us."  Eli shook his head, "She'll find her way back at some point."

"Some point today?"  I asked, carefully trying not to imagine her stumbling across an amorous pair in a channel and what it would do to me.

Eli grunted and said nothing else.  Mattress in arms, we trudged for a few minutes more and Eli turned into a gap between two bushes that was indistinguishable from any of the other pairs of bushes we had passed on our way up here.  Very shortly after that we all but fell into the clearly-cut channel.  As Eli has promised, fairly smooth, clear-ish of debris with plenty of space for a mattress.  We laid everything out, mattress for comfort, extra bedding for warmth, lanterns and candles for light and a small bottle of wine for staring at.

Eli appreciatively nodded his head once we were done, "Well, it's certainly an adventurous idea but I wouldn't want to be him."

"Why ever not?"

"Wandering round woods in the dark?  Mosquitoes and insects about?  I don't fancy his chances of anything."

Eli chuckled and turned to head back.  He laugh caught in his throat and spat itself out as a yelp as he jumped back a foot.

"What is it?"

"I saw a shadow in the trees over there."  He pointed to a shadowy area of trees.

"I think you're losing it in your senior years."

"I know what I saw and it was watching us."

"Maybe it was Bernie?"

"Guess we'd better go look."

That same shadowy area of trees suddenly became a whole lot darker, "Do we?  If it was Bernie she would have come to us."

"And if it wasn't then we'd best go find out anyway."  He growled, moving off, arms tensed at his sides.  I followed at a safe distance as we made our way over.  Nothing stirred, nothing sounded.  Eli picked his way through the outer ring of shadows and glanced round the tree.  He didn't move.

Then, "nothing there."  He whispered.

"Are you sure?"  I replied quietly.  If there was nothing there, why was he whispering?  Why was I whispering?

A loud shout from behind us.  I jumped so hard that I tripped when I came down.  Bernie was standing behind us, not looking in the slightest bit happy.

"Hey!  What does it take to get your attention?"  Bernie demanded, uniform afritz and dirty.

Eli looked left and right, "Where did you come from?  Were you just here?"

Bernie huffed, "Do you think I have any idea where I am right now?  I have no clue where I was, all I know I was wondering around shouting for ages and you all need to get pipes for your ears!"

Eli and I looked at each other.

"So it was just Bernie then." he shrugged, somehow coming across as unconvinced.

"But she came from behind us…I didn't see anyone go round the back of us."

"Nor I, but there's no-one else here.  It must have just been her."

"Maybe."  I said, the word hanging on the precipitous edge where curiosity and imagination intersect.

"What are you two talking about?  I've got to get back and change, come on!"  Bernie turned gesturing, started making off in a direction, remembered that she didn't know the way home and then waited for us to catch up.

Eli and I joined her, hesitantly at first.  But as we began trudging our pace picked up.  Just Bernie, that's all it was.  We reached the main road.

"Bernie…."

"What is it now?"

"I'm going to need your apron."

"You what?"  She rounded on me, fists at the ready and I backed up, hands at my head quickly.

"They'll never find this place without a guide.  Since we can't walk them here, I want to tie something to the bush here.  Your white apron cord would do just that."

"Does your nerve have no limit?"

"Look, you're going back to the manor to change anyway and you'll get it back this evening and it's going to need to be washed in any event, it's not like there's harm done."

I could tell she just wanted to swing at me, but she was already flustered, tired and harassed and even her hatred for me right now couldn't muster the movement.  She undid her apron and I tied it in clear view of the road.  All set, now time for the party.

The fire pit was in full swing.  A hearty blaze roaring of the maw, the productive crackle and sizzle as food sweat its way to perfection and light music dancing around the clearing as guitars and clarinets improved their melodies and intertwined their chords..  The guests hadn't arrived just yet but I was warned it was imminent.  Which meant my part of the plan was about to be completed.  I hung around by the edge of the pit, keeping my eye out for any approaching shadows.  Murky darkness shifted and warped and a trio of silhouettes approached.  It was Dustin being led by two staff.  He squinted as he approaching, scanning around, looking for me.  I realised that with the fire to my back I was yet another faceless outline.  I turned a bit to let the firelight catch my face and he got me instantly.

"Okay, tell me, are we good?"

"Of course we're good."  I gave him a knowing wink, "Would you like to know?"

"Of course.  My hands are shaking even now."  He said with an excited grin.

"Take the main road coming from the manor.  Walk down it until you come to a white apron tied to a bush.  Head right into the forest there and you can't miss it, it's directly ahead of you."

He repeated this back to me and nodded, "Good, okay."  He breathed a few times and entered the pit properly, walked around a bit, admired and complimented the cooking and then declared that he had to go back and sort something out.

"Don't be too late Sir, cooked food waited for no man."  Cook told him.

Dustin laughed and waved as he left.  It was so unbelievably tempting to shadow him, but a very small part of my lower stomach, which clearly had a stronger moral compass than the rest of me, churned at the idea.  So I contended myself knowing that I was in a good position to squeeze what I wanted to know out of Dustin after.  Oh this was turning out to be a glorious summer.

Not a few minutes after Dustin left Amanda arrived, colourful dress accentuated by bright hair swinging as she delicately paced forward.  I was hanging at a warm distance from the fire and Eli pointed her out first.  His chuckle rumbled, "Dustin's missed his shot to grab her when no-one was around, I wonder what excuse he'll use to drag her away now she's here."

I joined in with the amusement, Amanda must have left just before Dustin got back.  I couldn't wait to see how this played out.  Amanda looked around and seeing no other guests made for the food and also politely complimented Cook, a few gentle smiles and kind words causing Cook to bow deeply to her.  She accepted a plate of food and sat down in a cut wooden log that had been set out for the guests.  She delicately picked at it, alone.

"I'm going to talk to her."

"No you're bloody well not."

"She's lonely."

"All the easier for a gossip predator like you to worm into her life."

I grinned at him and, back upright, one arm behind my back, I approached smartly.  "Ma'am, is there anything you require?"

Amanda gave me the same practiced smile that she had given Cook.  Practiced or not, it wasn't hard to fall for at all.

"I'm perfectly satisfied, thank you very much."

"Well, in the duration for your friends to arrive, would you prefer some company?"

Amanda paused at this and I grew cold at the consequences if she turned me down strongly.  But the smile appeared and I grew warm again.

"Sure, have a seat.  It is a bit empty for now."

I took the spot next to her and stayed quiet, allowing her to take some food and swallow it before asking anything.  As it happened, she managed to get there before me.

"Have you worked here long?"

Sneaky woman, playing me at my own game, "Indeed, a number of years.  I'm from around here and was helping my family out with their business when an opportunity with Sir came through.  I decided it was be better for me to work here and send something back to my family and so I took up the position."

Amanda nodded appreciatively, "And what about us?  Do you get guests all the time?"

"Oh yes, that was Sir's idea.  He and his family holiday once or twice a year and the house wasted during those periods.  So he lets it out to fine guests, like yourself, during those periods."

I had to regain the advantage or I would lose it completely, "What about yourself, do you holiday frequently with your friends?"

She wiped her mouth delicately, "This is the first time actually.  We know each other through family connections and college but this is the first time we've all been together for a real period of time."

"From college?"

"Yes, I met Dustin as he's got a room down the hall from mine.  I met him as we were both moving in and last Christmas I stayed at his family's house.  Kathryn I also met through college at a house-hike.  That was a lot of excellent scenery and wonderful nights spent in huts."

"I bet it was."

"And Logan and I have known each other since we were younger, he lived nearby and we went to school near each other."

"Logan?"  I asked, the significance of the name dawning on me just as Amanda's head rose and smiled past me.  I turned and met Logan, the fourth and final guest.  He was probably a bit shorter than I had first imagined but he kept himself rigid and upright such that you could be fooled into considering otherwise.  He dressed well and moved confidently, but he displayed none of the born-friendliness of his friends.  The movement his face made as he pulled his mouth up towards his cheeks whilst he nodded at those nearby may technically have been classed as a smile, but there was nothing behind it.  Fleeting, brief, hollow.  Everyone is a liar, this is not news.  But when Amanda smiled, her mask shone bright from the inside with an enthusiastic glow.  When Logan approached, the hollows behind his eyes drew the fire in and swallowed it without a trace.  Those twin spaces roamed around the pit once.  No, not even once: they settled on Amanda and never went any further than that.  

As he walked over I found myself standing.  Without words being said there was no question as to where he would be choosing to sit and what his opinion to be engaged in conversation would be.  Amanda shone nonetheless, "Logan!  You're looking handsome this evening, won't you be sweating hot near the fire dressed like that?"

"Thank you, but no, it's going to get cold later and I want to be warm.  And you…you look lovely indeed."  He took the seat I had just vacated,  my presence passing under his bridge as a splash of water in a moving stream.

Amanda let out a pleased giggle and Logan devoured all of it, briefly, ever so briefly, displaying the slightest moment of life himself as he relaxed.  Then Amanda stopped and, as a fire without fuel, Logan too died and collapsed back into a vacuum.

I slowly made my way off as Amanda made small talk about food and encouraged Logan to eat, which he then got up to do.  I wandered back to Eli who was cross-armed facing away from them.

"So, what did you think?"

"Amanda, clearly going out with-"

"Not Amanda, the other one.  What sort of fellow is he?"

"Logan?  He's…odd."

Murmurs of agreement, "Amanda likes him though."

Eli grunted, "That may be all he's got going for him."

We watched them for a short while, eating, talking, interacting.  Good conversation should be like the sea: tides sweeping in up one shore, then in due course turning back and returning to the other side, and so on.  Lapping on both lands and sharing the body between them.  Logan and Amanda were not a sea, they were a river.  Amanda the source, giving and giving again.  Logan the mouth, water passing endlessly through him on a single-direction journey out into the vast unknown.  Almost bound by laws of physics, Logan could not turn the conversation around and contribute anything back to it himself.  Tide does not flow upstream.  And as such, the ebb and flow became just a flow.  Amanda as a source seemed perfectly content to do as she was doing, remarking on anything, everything, and nothing yet pushing conversation down whatever avenue she presented to herself.  Logan agreed.  And agreed.  How a friend dynamic like that existed intrigued me.  The more that I swim, the deeper I find myself and the darker the waters in front of me.

The music faltered slightly as the staff on the guitars and clarinet lost their synchronisation temporarily.  They pulled it together after a brief bar to catch themselves but in those four beats the atmosphere took an irrevocable twist.  Dustin emerged from the treeline looking decidedly unpleased.  I suppressed a grin, his frustration would be hilarious to mimic later.  Then Kathryn appeared from the darkness behind him, eyes cast down, and my grin fell into a barely concealed gasp.  I did nothing but gape as Dustin grabbed some of the now cooling food from the lower fire and made towards the logs.  Amanda only briefly met his eye.  Only briefly flashed a smile.  Her endless source of energy and life dimmed, shuttered.  Protected from the outside elements or concealing the storms raging within.  Kathryn and Dustin ate food next to each other but looking anywhere but next to each other.  Logan barely registered anything.  Conversation briefly flickered amongst the darkness.  The music itself no longer seemed to know what direction it wanted to go in, harmonies that went to harmonies stepped out of place and found dissonance.  Dissonance recovered to harmonies but then another instrument collapsed and had to struggle to drag itself back into beat with the others.  It was not long after that Claire walked around and smoke pleasantly with the guests.  Their attention happily turned to her, pleased to have a new focal point of attention that they could commit to, a new conductor to temporarily align the voices once again in harmony.

Claire orchestrated lightly and then declared it late and that a good day tomorrow would be best preceded by a good night of sleep.  There was heartedly agreement and the key of the music raised as conversation transitioned from inaction and waiting to movement and a goal.  Kathryn and Logan exchanged simple words on some topic or other, Logan finding it within him to emerge from the depths.  Amanda and Dustin exchanged hushed words between them.  I made sure I was behind the group so I could see how things unfolded between them.  I saw Dustin's hand reach for Amanda's.  The most fleeting of skin contact caused her hand to clamp to her side.  Hushed whispers.  The hand raised off the leg, relinquishing safety.  Brief contact, Dustin slowly wrapped his finger around hers.  Amanda was there for a second and then gone in the next, back to her side.  Hushed whispers.  Gentle murmuring, as they crossed the boundary between the outside and the Manor itself.  Amanda's hand hesitantly raised, was it shaking ever so slightly?  Dustin slowly wrapped a finger around hers, then another, and then took her hand with his.  Dustin thanked us and bade us a good night as he made up the stairs, Amanda following behind him, her limp hand held by Dustin, led by Dustin.  Light was peeping through the blinds of her mask, unsure if it was safe outside but scared of not knowing.

I waited a suitable period of time and snuck up from the staff stairs to the corridor outside their room on an errand.  I listened hard to be sure, but I confirmed that they indeed were not loud.  This knowledge didn't bring the victorious buzz that I was hoping for, as if by drawing myself into them I had brought their dissonance into myself, and the world suddenly quiet, devoid of atmosphere.  Remorseful.  Regretful.